Anger needs to be repressed and pushed down into that cancerous pit of the stomach. It’s not welcome here!
That’s the messaging I got as a young boy. Young Man. But, does Anger have a purpose? A place? I mean, it’s there. So, how do we deal with this perfectly normal emotion in a healthy manner?
Here are 3 ways to deal with Anger.
1. Assertive communication: Assertive communication is a healthy way to express anger. Expressing your feelings in a calm, clear, and direct manner, while respecting the other person’s feelings and opinions, can be very healing. Standing out for oneself and respecting ones on boundaries is important. Next time you try this try using “I” statements to express how you feel and what you need. Eg. “I’m feeling very hurt and frustrated, and I would like to talk about this. Are you able to hear me out?”
2. Physical activity: Physical activity, such as running, dancing, or boxing, can be a great way to release any emotion. It’s especially effective for pent-up anger and tension. Simply allowing the emotion to move through the body can be a powerful releasing mechanism. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood-boosters that can help reduce stress and improve your mood. Often you will not only realease the “stuck” energy, but you can see the situation from a fresh new perspective and clarity.
3. Mindfulness: Mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as meditation, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation, can help you calm down and manage your anger. These techniques can help you become more aware of your emotions and bodily sensations, which can help you identify when you’re becoming angry and prevent an angry outburst.
Personally I like to use a combination of all three. I feel frustrated, angry. Take a deep breath. Move the energy through me, and once I’m feeling not as “energised” I speak to the person or situation with my new found clarity.
Oftentimes I find out that beneath all of that anger is actually something else. Fear. Sadness. Self-doubt. It feels great to get to the bottom of it.
Every emotion has a story to tell. Often it just wants to be seen. Heard. Witnessed and released.
Or, maybe it’s time to re-write that out story. Is it even relevant anymore?
Are you struggling to deal with your anger? Your emotions? Let me know in the comments below.
Sam Taylor 